INSIDE THE TRANNY MYSTIQUE: Why Are So Many Guys Interested In She Males?

Ever wonder why the alternative newspapers advertise so many trannies? Dollar Bill doesn’t! He knows there’s an ever growing division of guys who seek the company of the she male set. And here he offers his sexpert analysis, peeling back the layers and debunking all the mythology associated with the forbidden netherworld so many guys are intent on entering.

Just hanging out at the bike shop...bullshitting with the mechanics as they true my wheels and adjust my brakes, when Jay, the stand-up comic in the bicycle fixing bunch, begins thumbing through the transsexual ads in one of the local sex papers. He nods his head at some...furrows his brow at others...and finally shares his impressions with his audience:

“You know there’s nothin’ like a big-dicked transsexual,” he mugs for the boys. Everybody laughs... but some of the guys appear a little uneasy...like they’ve had a Funky Cold Medina experience they may or may not want to share. Jay, himself is married with a child. He’s just joking around...or is he? Transsexual escorts have become an ever-growing segment of the pay-for-play industry...and all the “girls” insist that a very significant percentage of their clients are either married or in (supposedly) monogamous relationships with women.

Now, I’m a tranny chaser of sorts...but I don’t hound them for sex...I harass them for money. I’m an escort biz ad rep, and I know that more so than with any other class of trade, I can guarantee an attractive she-male working girl a handsome profit in a multitude of advertising vehicles...all due to the fact that men who purchase companionship have become increasingly interested in transsexuals.

So what’s the big deal? Why is this class of trade exploding exponentially? Who visits transsexuals...and what do they do in session? These are all taboo questions the answers to which most of society is too repressed or scared to even consider.

For starters...who pays transsexuals for their time? Everybody...that’s who. Single guys, married guys, couples, and even an occasional female will call to book their services. Often, in the course of selling and collecting, I find myself sequestered behind curtains, or pass by the customers as they come and I leave. And not once have I seen a client who looked or sounded at all gay. The tranny client wears no garb or displays any affectations that would give his predilections away, all of which boggles the mind when you consider the majority of these men have wives or girlfriends who are completely unaware of their partner’s extracurricular activities.

The next question is: What does the customer like to do in the room? Are the clients of the opinion that someone born with the same sex organ knows how to service a man better than a genetic female who can only imagine how that service feels?

Well, maybe there are a few guys who simply pay for the privilege of getting serviced by someone extremely gifted at performing that service, and ask for nothing more for their money. But according to the girls, they’re the exception rather than the rule. The overwhelming majority of clients are as interested in giving as they are in receiving. Worshipping the tubular god seems to be a priority with most tranny chasers. Knee pads would be as appropriate as standard issue as shower sandals in an Asian massage place.

I’ve heard a lot of bluster about the psychology behind the entire tranny-chasing phenomenon, and it all seems to boil down to this: Tranny chasers are basically heterosexual men. They like tits, feminine curves and the smoothness of a woman’s body. But at the same time, they’ve watched too many porno flicks, and heard too many women differentiate among men according to the size, shape, hardness, color and whatever else can distinguish one organ from another, rather than a few other personal
traits that just might be relevant. And they want to join the party. The thought of making love to a man...complete with stubble and a hairy body...is repulsive. But stick a hard-on on a gorgeous almost female, and legions of horny guys are lined up for the thrill.

Think I’m kidding about married guys patronizing transsexual hookers? Just a month ago, I was visiting with a client, an owner with a small one-bedroom/three girl transsexual incall, when the place got busy...and in a hurry. First, one guy buzzed and was escorted to the bedroom. And then..a second.

“Billy, jump in the shower,” the boss requested. Not a problem for me. I’ve been hidden under beds, behind doors...whatever. I was still waiting for details of ad changes and the payment. Well, I assumed the girls would have some way to handle both clients...I just didn’t realize exactly how they would manage the predicament.

It was easy. While I hid behind a translucent curtain, two girls took a middle-aged, Florida-tanned run-of-the-mill-looking Joe, and basically raped him. Right on the couch, not five feet from where I was hidden, girl #1 lay the man down on his back and stuffed his face with her cock and balls. At the same time, her partner slobbered all over the trick’s dick as the face stuffer rooted her friend’s cocksucking on. And the guy hadn't even tendered any cash yet.

Not content to tag team the poor guy with a face stuffing and a cock sucking, girl #2, rammed a big dildo up the guy’s ass. And all this while I was standing in a shower stall waiting for payment.

After a few minutes they broke to usher him into a vacated room when the guy uttered the magic words: “If my wife could only see me now.” You’re goddamn right mother fucker! She hasn’t seen your dick get that hard in a decade!

Sometimes, though rarely, the husband comes out of the closet and decides to book a she-male for himself and his wife. Many of the “girls” aren’t down with this program. Transsexuals are not sexually attracted to women (remember they were born gay men) and as a result, usually can’t perform with genetic females (derisively know as fish in the subculture). But there’s an occasional she male who can..and she gets paid handsomely for servicing the hubby’s betrothed.

The spell the lure of the she male sex can cast on some men is so strong that several celebrities have risked their careers and reputations just to satisfy their primal urges. The most noteworthy of course is Eddie Murphy, an alleged tranny chaser whose tendencies were well known within the community way before the law of averages finally caught up to him, and he was outed for picking up a tranny at 5 A.M. to “give her a ride home.”

If you think America was shocked by the revelation about Eddie, imagine how the Enquirer reading public would react if Corbin Bernsen, Robert Downey Jr., Anthony Mason, David Hasselhoff, Burt Young, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Charley Sheen, all of whom have been ralleged to play with she males, were added to the list. Clearly, the interest in transsexuals is not limited to the common man.

If you think the sexual orientation of a tranny chaser is confusing... or difficult to accurately describe without adding at least one new word to the English language, the transsexuals themselves are really pushing the boundaries of redefined sexual orientation.

In one rare house where genetic females, gay males and transsexuals work side by side, it was divulged to me over a few late night beers that Apples, an intoxicating and very passable transsexual, had a crush on Rachel, a genetic female.

Asked why Apples would become a chick so she could fall in love with another woman, the other TS working the joint indignantly informed me “There’s such a thing as a transsexual lesbian.” I never imagined I could be so naive. And with respect to the customers crossing society’s lines of delineation which define sexual orientation, the “girls” are quick to point out that several of their clients will see genetic females as well as transsexuals...depending on their mood. But almost never will that same guy book a male, supporting the theory that tranny chasers really do like feminine figures. It’s just that sometimes they want a pussy on that body...and sometimes they want a cock.

With respect to the all important fourth measurement, you can bet that’s what interests the customers more than anything else. You think all women are size queens? They can’t hold a candle to the tranny chasers in that department!

Emerald, one of my favorite transsexual beauty queens loves to put me on three way so I can hear what the boys have to say to her over the phone. The insight is spectacular. They almost always stammer breathlessly...like they’re so hot and horny for that taboo chick with a dick, they’re about to bust a nut or drop to their knees before they even get through the door.

And as you might expect, they all ask the magic question. But sometimes mere length isn’t enough information. One guy needed to know the circumference as well. Emerald countered with “Oh, come on baby! I don’t even know the meaning of the word,” as she banged the phone in his ear with disgust.

“Billy. I can’t deal with these freaks anymore,” she complained in dismay. I guess the question as to who’s the freak is all a matter of perspective.

And while we’re on the subject of dick size...how is it possible that every transsexual escort has at least eight inches...with the average being along the lines of 10 and a half. I mean...where are these girls measuring from?

Well, some measure from their nipple on down...while others don’t need to exaggerate. Remember...they’re all born men...and just like men...they tend to vary. And any tranny chaser looking for a hung she male to play with won’t have to look far to find one.

Of course, how hard that dick will get is another issue entirely. Daily injections of estrogen, coupled with too many clients in a day can often leave a transsexual hopelessly flaccid. But others who take moderate hormone doses and have exceptional libidos can successfully negotiate a full hard-on.

My best advice for the curious: If you want to experience the wild, weird, wacky world of transsexual escorts, do it first thing in the morning when the girls are fresh. Genetic female hookers can KY down all day and service ten or more guys without a problem. She males aren’t afforded that luxury. Most of the guys like their cocks big and hard. Catch a tranny at the wrong time and you might be disappointed. ‘Nuff said. A word to the wise should be sufficient.

Well there you have it... one very experienced man’s take on she male love and the psychology involved in making the fad so popular. Armed with this insider’s information, beginners as well as veterans should now have a working knowledge of how to go about entering and navigating through the mind-numbing netherworld of the she male escort.

If you have some ambivalence on the subject, and feel you won’t be able to look in the mirror if you finally break down and act on your most primal of urges, look at it this way: You only live once...so you might as well go for all the fulfillment life has to offer.And if part of that fulfillment involves a beautiful, sexy, big-breasted chick who just happens to have a long, fat dick..go for it! And on that note - whatever your thing is - let’s go get laid!

A GLOSSARY OF TERMS

Ya know...if you really wanna be down with the trannies, it helps to understand their lifestyle and master their vernacular! In fact, she males have their own subculture which can be quite cliquish. So to help you bust through that wall and enter the world of the forbidden fruit...here we go with a glossary of terms which once mastered will let the object of your lust know in no uncertain terms that you are a force to be reckoned with! This was the sidebar to the previous post which once upon a time ran as a feature in Screw Magazine.

Knowing the vernacular and colloquialisms of any subculture is paramount in entering (no pun intended) that clique and befriending its members. And with she males, it’s especially true. With that in mind, we present some catch phrases and hip expressions with which to impress and ingratiate yourself to the object of your deepest and darkest desires.

MISS HONEY: Almost any she male or female for that matter, who is physically attractive, knows it, and knows how to show it off.

OVER: Pronounced “ova” and often accompanied with a finger snap, this term generally connotes success, beauty, flamboyance, intelligence and almost anything positive. For example, if a girl is wearing a particularly beautiful dress to a function, another partygoer might exclaim “Oh Miss Honey is over in that dress.”

PACKIN’: If a client or she male is “packin’,” it means he or she has a big dick.

PASSABLE: means that a she male looks so feminine that often nobody will know they’re not in the presence of a natural-born woman without being told.

SERVING: If “Miss Honey” is serving, she’s showing off all her God and doctor-given assets and doing the best she can with what she has to offer, whether it’s in photos, on the dance floor or runway, or even in the bed sucking your knob like no other skanky female has before.

SHOWGIRL: is really any she male who looks good enough to be on a runway. Often a term of salutation, she males might great their friends with “What’s up, showgirl.” If it were two frat boys the expression would be “What’s up, dude?”

SPOOKED or SPOOKABLE: is an expression which refers to a situation or a she male who is not feminine enough to fool the entire world at large when she’s seen in public. If you were in Macy’s and you saw a she male who you recognized as such, it means you “spooked” her. And if a girl is “spookable,” it means that anybody with eyesight and half a brain would know the person in question was born male. It has nothing to do with the girls being Afro-American.

SURGED: When a she male has been to the plastic surgeon too many times and looks even faker than Michael Jackson, she’s said to be “surged.”

WORK or YOU BETTER WORK: Again, this has nothing to do with actually going to a job. It simply means that you better show it off and bring it to the fore to the best of your ability, regardless of the activity.

YOU GO, GIRL!” see “you better work.” Essentially the terms are interchangeable.

TRANNIES ON TOUR!

Always the keen observer, Dollar Bill the academician, waxes professorial in this insightful analysis of a new business trend in the tranny escort business, the phenomenon of she males hitting the road to satisfy the ever-growing nationwide army of tranny chasers’ lust.

The business of selling “companionship” has certainly evolved rapidly over the past few years. Once upon a time trannies didn’t have a lot of choices as to how to attract clientele. Street corners and neighborhood bars were basically their milieu. There were no papers or websites available for them to advertise their wares. Then along came SCREW and some other alternative weeklies to expand the options of a money-seeking she male.

Well, that was all good if you were happy to work one city or close geographic area. But what could a tranny on-the-go with a fierce case of wanderlust do? Take a bus and find a street corner in another city? Or look through the Yellow Pages hoping to locate a bar where tranny chasers like to hang out? Hmmm! Not that simple. But those days are over! With the invention of the internet and the emergence of the web to aid and abet the hustle, trannies can come and go as they please with relative ease!

Let’s say you’re a she male who is essentially burned out in a particular area. Every tranny chaser in the city has seen you and is well aware that your dick doesn’t get hard -- or that the dick in your ad is really someone else’s (whose is much larger) -- or you give lousy service -- or you have lousy reviews on TER - or whatever causes a local escort to fall out of favor with the customers. Are you stuck picking up the dregs - eking out a modest living? Hell no!

Here’s the deal: Said tranny contacts her ad rep or calls eros herself and books a “visiting” ad in almost any major metropolis you can think of in the continental united States - and some foreign ports as well! The cost of a two week ad is a whopping $120. Gosh! You think she can afford it? Then she goes on hotels.com and finds a reasonable hotel in that city to receive the customers. Cost? About $150/day at the most!

Finally...the plane, bus or train ride - all of which can be booked on hotwire, expedia, priceline and a multitude of other discount travel sites. Price? A few hundred dollars at most. Today’s cell phones almost all have free national calling so no problem with that. The entire nation has effectively become a local call! So she can use her current phone virtually anywhere.

And if the girl has a computer -- or an ad rep who does craigslist -- she can post herself (or get posted) the instant she hits the new town! Tranny chasers from the new area are always looking for some new meat and bada boom...guys are calling and offering their hard-earned cash to hang out almost the moment she arrives.

As a result of this new opportunity, guys like me who book ads for the girls are besieged by orders for eros visiting ads. South Beach, Chicago, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Boston and even off-the-beaten path locations like Columbus, Toledo or Akron where eros is NOT - but craigslist IS - are all destinations for touring trannies!

Having drained the local freaks of every last tranny-chasing drop of their energy, they return home with wads of cash and lots of stories with which to regale anybody interested.

But there’s no free lunch in this world and there is a downside to this nomadic experience. First, it’s bad enough to get busted in your own hometown -- but getting arrested in a city where you know nobody and are unfamiliar with the local statutes and protocol is no party. Local gendarmes who don’t appreciate escorts invading their territories are likely to target the visitors hoping to make an example of the girls who think they can barnstorm a location, extract a huge amount of money -- and then leave with a sack of their local cash!

Second, muggers, thieves, hustlers and the like tend to work the visiting ads, well aware that the girls are little Alices in Wonderland, just ripe for the picking. I mean...what could be easier than robbing a road escort?

And predictably. I’ve heard stories on both fronts. One girl got arrested in Atlanta and really had no idea how to handle the situation. She ended up in jail for days awaiting arraignment and disposition of the case before she could finally clear the fuck out of The South. Another two took the train to Philadelphia, earned a couple of grand in a day only to get relieved of all their earnings later that evening. Discouraged and scared, they returned to The Big Apple where they felt more secure, proclaiming they would never do the road thing again unless they knew the lay of the land and at least had a few friends in the new location!

For the adventurous she male, Europe is a gold mine waiting to be exploited -- especially if you’re a tranny of color in a country with very few of your kind. One she male related that on a trip to Germany, she banked big time with a division of Aryan zombies who’d never seen or experienced the likes of Miss Diamond! But given the language barrier, expensive fares, and passport problems for aliens ,this remains a relatively unexplored avenue of expression for most she males.

The Orient would really hold great promise for a black tranny. Can you imagine the flock of Asian guys who’d line up to pay a big-dicked black she male? My God! She’d need a barrel full of viagra to service them all!

Wherever the destination, today’s technologies have expanded the horizons of escorts of all classes of trade. Their job is to harvest money from clients and opportunities abound all over the world for them to reap their rewards. Staying in one location simply doesn’t make sense anymore. Business-minded trannies know to go on google and research where they will be welcomed.

Angie, a very civilized client of mine books numerous eros visiting ads and often says “I cleaned up here..or there! But don’t tell the other girls. They’ll ruin it!” The trick is to stray off the path and find some fertile but uncultivated soil.

In a similar vane, it’s occurred to me to call up every eros ad in every city and offer to post the girls on craigslist in that locale -- for a fee of course. And I’m sure with a little industry, savvy and effort, I could bank nicely just sitting at home and putting up ads for escorts I’ve never even met. PayPal would do the trick effectively allowing me to hit the virtual road on a quest for even more and more annoying, ball-breaking clients (just what I need)! Fortunately, I have enough bull shit to deal with right here in The Big Apple. I have no life already. I certainly don’t need to complicate my existence by soliciting out-of-town flatbackers for their business!

And on that note....see ya next post!

HOW TO SPOOK A TRANNY!

Given all the she males Dollar Bill has known over the years, if there’s one thing he should be good at it would be how to “spook” a she male. No...not how to scare her...but how to detect the on-the-down-low three-legged femme fatale in almost the same way you might figure out that some guy with a $2,000 toupee is actually bald!

It’s happened to everybody! You go to a bar...and there’s this chick. She’s looking at your crotch - checking out the package - as she licks her lips. You think you’ve died and gone to heaven. Finally, some bitch is drooling in anticipation of sucking your big hog. OK! So you get her home, start fooling around, and then let your fingers head south. It’s the moment of truth!! Are you ready for the forbidden fruit or not? Some guys dive and gobble. Some guys knock the bitch out. Regardless, you find yourself in an awkward position. Maybe, there’s somebody out there who can help you avoid these uncomfortable moments? And that’s where I, Dollar Bill, come in to save the day. Cape and all, I’m here to let you know how to ascertain that even the most feminine and gorgeous of women is in fact not born that way.

In this day and age of advanced surgery, depilation and hormone therapy, some trannies have become remarkably gorgeous and almost totally “unspookable.” But there are certain signs that will let you know that beneath her legs lurks that long, thick, hard male weapon - and not a stinky little hole you have no interest in - which is why you’re a tranny chaser in the first place. Yeah, pussy is good sometimes - we know. But nothing beats the thrill of a she male sex nympho! That’s why this magazine sells so well.

Spooking really good-looking she males involves not just your eyesight - but all the senses. For example, trannies generally wear strong, wafty, and very seductive perfume. A real girl’s scent is gentle and subtle, giving off a come hither style air. A tranny’s is in your face. IT says “Come suck my big cock and then I’ll suck yours which I’ll bet is even bigger!!” So your sense of smell can be helpful in spooking a hot tranny. I remember during the heyday of Screw, walking into the outer office to see and smell ten trannies waiting to run their ads. The power of all the perfume was overwhelming - and nauseating. All I could think of at the time was ten trannies in a pile, fucking and sucking and spunking and getting down and dirty super slut style with anybody who wanted to join in. The editors used to run through the crowd, pinching their noses all the way, as they exited for lunch hour at the local deli.

Your sense of hearing can also be a tool in this pursuit. Trannies have very exaggerated vocal tones and their own language. While some have had their vocal chords shortened - and others consciously raise their vocal pitch when they speak, often their voices will crack like an adolescent’s or simply be too deep to go unnoticed and unquestioned.
The tranny’s vocabulary is also very different from a natural born woman’s. Expressions like “ova,” “you go girl,” “oh, scandal,” and several others are clear indications that the “female” before you actually has a dick under her skirt or at least, that she you hangs out with a lot of she males and should be placed under suspicion.

Your sense of touch is another sensual tool to help you ascertain the birth gender of your prey. As in...if you go to finger her and you come up with a fist full of balls and cock, she may just be a tranny! To be more serious, the smoothness of her skin (or lack of) can be a tactile indication. Hand/feet size and texture is another barometer. While trannies can induce breast and butt enlargement either hormonally or surgically, nobody has perfected the art of making a tranny’s feet or hands smaller, smoother or daintier. Wanna know if that girl you met in the club is a tranny? Ask her to remove her shoes and socks. That should do the trick (so to speak).

Next, the sense of taste! Yup! If you’re tongue kissing your goddess and she tastes a little sticky...or you’re sucking her big clit and suddenly a gush of white sticky stuff projects from her engorgement, you just might be a tranny chaser!

Ok! I’ll get off this ridiculous bender and make a point. If you’re reading this magazine, what makes you futuristic and unique - and not just dull and humdrum - is that you’re spooking trannies because you’re hoping the girl HAS a dick - and a big one. Normally, the act of spooking involves a straight man making sure he isn’t being seduced by a faggot! And so fellas, count yourselves hot, cool, metrosexual and all those other modern adjectives. While repressed white-collared conservatives only dream about having a huge cock, you guys go out and find one - and a chick with huge tits - all on the same body. Hey! you only live once - and you’re living a lot more freely, enjoyably and openly than your shamefully pitiful counterparts. And there’s my socially observant - if not redeeming -message.

WHERE TO FIND THE TRANNY OF YOUR DREAMS

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

TRANS-SEX IN THE CITY!

Regardless of your gender or sexual orientation, one immutable fact continues to plague everybody who’s looking for love in all the wrong places. It seems almost impossible to find! Once again Dollar Bill reveals in no uncertain terms that even the most gorgeous, racked and packed she male still struggles to find the ultimate romantic connection in her very own soap opera appropriately named “Trans-sex In The City.”

Running the gauntlet of transsexuality is an especially precarious pursuit for those in the life, especially when it comes to finding true love and romance. For things aren’t always what they seem when a girl hits a mixed club to find a hot and straight stud. As I’ve mentioned before, she males aren’t interested in homosexual men. They want a straight man to love. But while they still have their dicks (most aspire to lose theirs eventually for the perfect man) finding that straight man can be especially difficult.

I mean...can you imagine what would happen if a guy with a pussy instead of a dick went to a club, picked up a woman, and then brought her home for sex? In the majority of cases, the girl wouldn’t be real happy to find that her stud-to-be had nothing between his legs. Well, the same can be said for transsexuals whose one-night-standers are expecting a pussy at the moment of consummation.

On several occasions I’ve spoken to she males who have confessed tales from the club world and exactly how they go about finding true love with someone they actually want to have sex with - as opposed to somebody who pays them. That’s not to say that all clients of she males are unattractive. And indeed, I know girls who have turned clients into live-in boyfriends. But as with natural females, rarely is the guy who’s paying them for their time the same guy they would like to hang out with and have sex with for free.

And so when the work day is done, the girls (female or she male) will often go clubbing, looking for love and romance in a very liquor and drug-induced after midnight nether world. As anybody who’s gone clubbing knows, the aforementioned subculture is an eclectic mix of straight, bi and homosexual men and women who DON’T wear any labels revealing their sexual orientation.

The games begin as the crowd mingles. Picture this: Miss Honey is dressed to the nines, high heels, Calvin Klein, Gucci and whatever setting off her burgeoning double d’s, phat booty and long legs. Mr. heterosexual gets one look and it’s a wrap. He’s got to have her. The two bob and weave and flirt with the she male titillating the guy’s boner. They both want to run home and fuck right then and there...but she has another idea. If the guy’s a cocksucker - but cute - she may take him home just to have some hot sex. But if he appears to be straight and longing for some deep wet pussy to fill...that’s another story entirely. This relationship must be cultivated. And for two reasons.

First, he’s a straight man - which puts him at a premium because she males don’t want homosexual men in the first place. And second, quick first night sex with a hetero guy could bring a beating at the moment of truth - or just as likely an “Excuse me, I have to go,” at that same operative moment.

Generally, the she male will feel the vibrations and control the situation appropriately. Most of the time, a little dance floor grind (she’s usually taped so he can’t feel anything) and an exchange of numbers, followed by numerous phone calls or dates will ensue, the theory being that eventually, the guy will become so “open” on the girl he just won’t care that she has a dick. Just so he can hug and kiss and suck her tits and get his dick sucked, eventually the love he feels for the girl will convince him to suck her dick, or fuck her in the ass simply to satisfy his partner.

Or if the she male just can’t wait (as in one case), she’ll bring the guy home and blow his brains out (sexually that is), or give him a fabulous titty fuck, feigning her femininity with the excuse that she’s having her period while still having the opportunity to enjoy his company.

Of course, there’s another side to this equation. The cagey bisexual hound dog on the prowl knows about all this drama and will often pretend to be a completely clueless and heterosexual man because he knows that’s what the she male wants. And so he’ll play the game - and the tranny - just to get what HE wants. Imagine a guy who totally knows what time it is, gawking at the she male’s throbbing member, and then “nervously” diving, sucking virginally when in fact it’s the 1000th dick he’s blown in the last week unbeknownst to the she male.

She’s smitten; there’s nothing like turning a “straight man” for a she male. And he has his hand out when she comes home from work after making hundreds or thousands from clients for whom she has no feelings. Pursuing trans-sex in the city truly is a gauntlet not for the faint of heart.

One girl who I met at a party and thought was a female eventually confided in me on several fronts. She knew I thought she was a fabulous female when I met her and that had she been a born-female, I would have been first in line for some pussy. Her complaint was that all the guys she was dating recreationally were straight and that her relationships were most unsatisfying because the sex basically consisted of her blowing them. And that was it. I’d had a fantasy about getting blown by this girl (what the hell) but when I heard her dilemma, my boner went south immediately. She was a friend of a friend (a female) and I figured if I displayed myself as yet another straight guy who just wanted to get his dick sucked by a pretty girl, my reputation might have gone even farther south than my boner. Apparently, sometimes the transsexual’s desire for a straight man can get in the way of her sexual satisfaction. If I were in love with a female and all she would let me do sexually was suck her pussy, I wouldn’t be a very happy camper either.

But on the other hand, another of my clients related a story which revealed that she really had turned a virgin into a lifelong cocksucker just by virtue of being totally attractive and seductive to the point that the guy really didn’t care. Just so he could be intimate with the “girl” he’d fallen in love with, sucking a cock seemed like a small leap.

And so it goes with trans-sex in the Big Apple. There are a million lonely stories in the naked city. And not all of them involve heterosexuals or even homosexuals. In the 21st century, the modern world they involve transsexuals as well.

HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW ALL THESE TRANNIES?

An avid reader e-mailed me yesterday asking how I know all these trannies? Am I a consumer of their services or what? Well, I explained briefly in yesterday's column (which is actually ten years old) but let me elaborate further.

Once upon a time, I was a cab driver who began writing about my taxi-driving experiences for the industry paper as a creative outlet. From there, I gained a little notoriety and before I knew it had been published in some 40 publications the likes of the lofty Screw, Juggs and Leg Scene...all the way down to the depths of The New York Times, Daily News and New York Magazine. But while my free-lance career was impressive - though not that monetarily rewarding - nobody hired me full time until Action Magazine saved me from the yellow abyss.

My first day on that job, the boss pulled all the sales people (yes..part of my job was selling - not just writing) together and opened up Screw Magazine to challenge the sales staff: "Goldstein has 72 she male advertisers. We have 3. I want the other 69!" And so...it was our job to telemarket and chase those 69 trannies to try and get them to advertise in Action. And THAT'S how I know all the trannies.

I've written voluminously about their subculture (as well as many others in this business) and in due time will be sharing all those articles I once wrote for magazines catering to she males and the guys who love them. So enjoy. There are no sites like this on the internet. And best of all...it's free. Like how much better does it get? Have fun and PLAY SAFE! A word to the wise should be sufficient!