What a crime! Yet another not-ready-for-prime-time tale of slime from our anti-hero! Dollar’s got crazy tranny stories. Too bad none of them are funny. Whatever! Maybe there will be a chuckle or two so read on!
As you can imagine, after years of hanging out in the pay-for-play netherworld, I got mad stories from the front. In fact, numerous individuals have suggested “You gotta write a book” after hearing one of literally thousands of anecdotes I’ve related to people who don’t hang out in incalls all day. And while the fish have their share of relatable tales, the she male -- that purveyor of the most forbidden of fruits -- may be the best source for the unimaginable and unbelievable.
Very possibly my #1 favorite transsexual story came recently from one of my oldest and dearest she male buddies. It seems she was out one night with a female friend when at 4 A.M., while they were making a purchase in a deli, Alex happened upon what she described as a beautiful Italian policeman. Thinking she was a female, he hit on her in the store, successfully enough to persuade Alex to give him her phone number. He promised to call around 6 AM when his shift broke and sure enough, at about 6:30, she was awakened by a call. It WAS the cop and soon he was on his way over for a nightcap.
Within say 15 minutes filled with idle banter, Mr. Protect and Serve had his mouth and hands all over Alex’s tits. She, clearly in heat, crossed her legs to squash the boner she was popping, and allowed the stud to kiss her neck and suck her tits - and you get the idea.
Well it wasn’t long (no pun intended) before they adjourned to the bedroom where she blissfully gobbled on his big police dick until the moment he sneaked his hand down to her pussy and got a handful of the unexpurgated truth! And the dude freaked. Alex said his dick went from like a foot to an inch in two seconds. The cop jumped up from the bed, literally threw on his clothing, and ran for the door. Well, this would be a good story right there but then...she saw a bag in the corner which didn’t belong to her. So she sneaked a peak to see that HIS SHIELD AND PISTOL WERE PART OF THE CONTENTS. Oh no! Grounds for termination, dude. How about exercising a little self-control?
Within seconds, there was a harsh bang on the door. Knowing who and what all the noise was about, she cracked the door and threw the bag out in the hall. End of story, right? NOT. A week later, the same cop called to see if he could come over. Man oh man! I guess that tranny head was just too fucking good eh, Mr. Gendarme? Whatever, she wouldn’t entertain his overtures. The first experience was just too freaky. Handsome guys with big dicks come a dime a dozen for this particular tranny. One indiscretion was enough. She wasn’t about to entertain another.
I’m sure you’re all familiar with the protocol when seeking entry to escort's abodes. “Call me from the corner” is the line we all know! Just like fishing, sometimes the fish are biting -- and sometimes you just sit there with your line in the water wondering whether there are any fish left in the ocean! And it’s the same way for she male escorts. Feast or famine can often be the order of the day and too many times, a girl is stuck between a rock and a hard place with not one -- but two guys calling from the corner simultaneously. Usually, the savvy receptacle will stall one -- and then rush the other -- hoping to score two quick paydays without losing either. Indeed, I’ve heard stories of girls inhabiting big incalls entertaining two clients at the same time going back and forth from the two rooms, giving each guy just enough of her time to turn the trick(s) -- so to speak!
Well, this particular she male had a two-floor apartment and when confronted with the quandary simply invited both over at the same time hoping to service each alternately. The plan worked momentarily until the two guys began to realize what was going on and one suggested they all get together. Lace (the tranny) brought the two guys together to the main floor whereupon the two guys began blowing each other -- actually excluding her from the action. And did she feel like the odd man out? Hell no! She was ecstatic having been paid by both guys while she simply watched AND got paid. Talk about a windfall! Awesome. Whoever coined the phrase “men are like dogs” could point to this anecdote as actual and irrefutable proof of the veracity of his (or her) statement.
What seems like a hundred years ago now, I had the unfortunate job of collecting ad dollars from a big tranny house run by a freak named Iman. And I hated going over there. The bitch was incredibly cheap for starters -- so there would always be a hot negotiation prefaced by a forty minute wait during which most if not all of the trannies in attendance would walk through the apartment in various stages of penile tumescence as they passed to and fro from the tricks in the rooms (gaag)!!
On one of these visits, an old German tranny named Morgan asked me what I knew about penile enlargement. Fresh and green as I could be with respect to the she male community, I answered in a medical and clinical fashion listing the pros and cons and finally not recommending the procedure. A couple of visits later while once again waiting too long for my money, I got a glimpse of Morgan coming out of the shower. And the freak had one huge fucking dick! I mean...it looked more like a foot than a cock. All I could think was “You wanna make that monster bigger? What...are you trying to join the circus to bust out small whimpering elephant virgins for a cheering crowd? I guess when it comes to dogs of the male persuasion, we just can’t ever have enough!
Sometimes trannies aren’t that bright. Enter Deborah, a surged out beast who called one day to ask about a tip she’d received from a client. The customer had tendered legal tender of a unique sort as a gratuity -- 2 one hundred year old gold coins! After a brief description of the bounty, I realized that the coins in question were actually 1906 $20 double eagles, which contain an ounce of gold each! Now if they’re in good shape, they’re worth even more than the current $920 per ounce price of the precious metal. Of course the “good shape” part was becoming a problem. Deborah had actually taken a hammer to one of the coins to check out its authenticity!
“Honey, you understand that you depreciated the value of the coin when you did that! Why don’t you just go out on Second Avenue and have a truck run it over while you’re dingbattin’ a thousand!” Then I tried to buy the coins for $500 -- albeit unsuccessfully. I’d revealed too much info and Deborah -- though not that bright -- had caught on that she was holding something much more valuable than she realized. Eventually, girlfriend went to a dealer and got the real price for the coins which ain’t bad -- considering Deborah has been known to hit the pipe on more than a few occasions.
And finally, I told this story to a dominatrix who responded that she too had seen the guy -- but that he’d only given her one coin as a tip. Oh well, I guess Deborah’s dick was more exciting than her tits -- which would account for why the dickless female got shortchanged.
In this day and age, we rarely hear about illiteracy. Maybe 150 years ago on the frontier - where there were precious few schools or time to attend them -- it was much more prevalent than it is today. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t an occasional individual who simply can’t read or write. And then there was Ginger, a forty something beast of a tranny who was not only a little slow - but a lot illiterate. Now this wouldn’t be particularly funny except the friend who divulged this little fact to me commented “We bought the bitch Hooked On Phonics but it was hopeless.” Just the image of a she male monster (this one looked about as much like a girl as I do) sitting in front of a child’s learning toy while surrounded by a gaggle of she male professoresses -- was just too ticklish. I couldn’t be sensitive -- mostly because I didn’t like the girl in the first place. We had a good laugh at Ginger’s expense. Why not? She’s an asshole anyway!
OK! I'm trannied out for the moment. Now it's on to the hetero column. have fun SAFELY!
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