TURNING THE TABLES!

Are you tired of slaving all week to hand your hard-earned bucks over to the object of your deepest lust? Well, Dollar Bill is! And here he fantasizes on how to turn the tables, convincing your favorite she male to fork over HER hard-eanred dollars for YOUR companionship!

I’m guessing that anybody who reads this column is an individual who has spent a lot of money compensating the advertisers on this site in exchange for time spent. And I think it's time for a change! I’ve been around an army of both female and she male escorts on this job -- and I’ve heard the stories from the girls who somehow got hoodwinked into turning customers who used to pay them into boyfriends for whom they have genuine feelings. And this is the success story to which all tricks aspire: To sexually and emotionally enslave a jaded escort for your own purposes. Talk about the hunter getting captured by the game!

Well...believe it or not -- it happens more often than you might think. Unless the girls have sexual abuse and intimacy problems -- which is more the domain of female escorts than she males for sure -- everybody needs love and affection regardless of how many sexual partners they have in any given period of time. You see -- for the girls -- most of the guys who give them money are suspect and disgusting at the outset. And you have to convince them right away that you differ from the norm! This isn’t like the square world. You have two strikes against you immediately because you’re a paying horn dog in the first place.

So how does a guy turn the tide? Exactly how does this work? How can a common john turn himself into Don Juan? Here’s my take on the sale:

TAKE A PERSONAL INTEREST

Before you jump the bones of the sex goddess you’ve just paid, it’s better to introduce yourself and take your time a little at the outset. Shake hands and look your partner straight in the eye. Especially with she males, guys can be very skittish. Seeing she males is a closeted deal to begin with and the girls are used to furtive, sly individuals who give incorrect names and information so as not to be outed for what they’re doing! Yes, you can still lie like a hooker. Just have a little finesse and patience in the process. Once you personalize the encounter, your fiancé will warm up and give you better service. It’s time well spent. Trust me.

When I order a girl, I usually do the wrong thing -- getting the party going immediately so I can stay in the pussy for as long as possible. But recently, I sat down and had maybe ten minutes of light conversation with a young girl. I played her a song on the guitar and then we got busy. The next day the owner called up and asked ”What did you do? The girl asked when she can see you again.” Obviously, youngblood was put at ease in the first ten minutes and thoroughly enjoyed her hour as a result!

SPEND MONEY

I know the object here is to get some free ass but in the beginning -- ya gotta lay the paper! All escorts are money-hungry. That’s why they do what they do! And nothing seduces girls more than a wad of cash. Big dicks come a dime a dozen for escorts. Big spenders don’t! So if you have money -- ya gotta spend it to begin with. It doesn’t matter whether you’re dealing with a female, she male, pro or amateur. Cheap doesn’t make it. Trust me! I’ve blown dozens of opportunities being cheap - and seized upon a few being a spender. Spending always works!

BE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE

I know this is easier said than done. You are what you are obviously. But that doesn’t mean you can’t dress nicely, put on a pleasant smelling cologne for your date. This simply demonstrates respect for her -- and yourself -- at least in her eyes. And always be clean. Nobody -- and I mean nobody -- likes a funky man. If your mind set is “It’s just an escort. What the fuck?” that’s fine. But don’t expect to seduce the girl showing up smelly and nasty with skid marks on your underwear and toilet paper pills in your butt. Bitches simply ain’t feelin’ dat!

ROCK HER SEXUALLY

Do the best you can with what you have! Yeah! Escorts like a guy with a six-pack abdomen. But being attentive to her needs and going the extra mile orally (or whatever seems to turn her on) is something all women crave! Hone your technique (whatever the area) and turn on the charm! And keep spending!

ROMANCE AND CANDLELIT DINNERS

Yup! Bring flowers, candy, gifts and all that other nonsense I can’t stand. Take her out to romantic dinners and all that mushy stuff. Recently, one of my longtime clients called to say she was leaving town for a while and wanted to fuck me before she went. But she didn’t just want to show up at my door and work me for a free ad. She wanted to go out for dinner, drinks and dancing whereupon we would then return to my apartment where I could (presumably) lay the pipe free of charge. And this from an escort who’s been selling her wares for 20 years! The point? It doesn’t matter how many guys these girls have been with -- they still get stupid and mushy on the right guy. And remember -- transsexuals want to be women -- and thus have the same emotional needs. And those needs involve courtship, romance and a lot of traditional stuff you’d think somebody who’s sucked on 10,000 dicks would have long forgotten!

TAKE HER ON A VACATION

And book the honeymoon suite. You’d be surprised at how many girls form emotional attachments with guys who simply shower them with love and affection. How many times have you heard women say things like “He wasn’t very attractive in the beginning but as time went by he got a lot better looking!” Even if the girl doesn’t get hooked on you -- she might get hooked on all the perks you offer her and thus -- still need your company. Either way, you’ve succeeded in making the girl need you.

A SMOOTH RIDE

Girls love a dope automobile. If you don’t have a $100,000 Mercedes, book a limo for a dinner date. Limos are long and seductive and make a girl sigh in submission at the very thought of their luxury and length.

UNDERSTAND THE SUBCULTURE

If you’ve been around enough trannies -- or ghetto hoochie working girls (in my case) -- demonstrate your knowledge of her friends’ ways and vernacular. Long ago, I befriended all the Colombian girls in Queens simply because I knew some Hispanic culture and spoke Spanish (Hey! I went to school, y’all!) Just a few “You go girls” accompanied with a finger snap will make the she males giggle and squeal! And you’ll be in -- all the way -- for your knowledge!

MAKE THE GIRL MONEY AND THEN BECOME HER AGENT!

This is a superfluous subhead in reality. Any guy who’s beautiful enough, built enough and hung enough knows a lot more about "management" than I do. But if you’re gorgeous, built and packin’ -- just pile drive the bitch into submission and then offer to post her on craigslist for free. If you can bring clients to the girl -- and help her make money -- you can usually negotiate your companionship in exchange. The next logical step? Impress her with the fact that she needs a financial manager -- and keep pounding her holes -- and leaving her breathless and powerless to not hand you all the money she just made.

Working girls often victimize all men -- except the one daddy to whom she’s emotionally enslaved! Now this is really tricky because generally, there’s only one high cock in an escort’s life. The competition can be fierce but hey -- if you win the gold medal you might as well go for the moolah, too. You can score ass anytime if you have money in your pocket. But having a girl give you hers? That’s a coup indeed!

All right, guys! Now you have the outline on how to turn the tide! Once you realize that you’re the ho and your escort is your trick -- is when you’ve finally won the game!